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When the Other Shoe Drops

Seven months ago on this day, I came home. Tomorrow I start my new job. As I told my friend when he called to congratulate me, it feels like the other shoe has finally dropped, like I’d been waiting around for it, hopping on one foot, a little off-balance, but now it’s done, and that measure of anxiety has worn off.

While the fanfare plays on, let me explain. I’ve been job hunting for about two months now, and in job hunt terms, that’s really not that long. I’ve known people who looked for six months, or a year, or two years, before finding something, and that majorly sucks. But two months sucks too. Two days sucks when your savings are slowly being eaten away and nothing…NOTHING…is coming in.

This isn’t about to turn into a treatise on the economic times of my generation or anything, but health insurance for the unemployed is really expensive, especially when you need to go the doctor. I have panic disorder, so I need to go regularly. I can’t afford not to, but I can barely afford to. Thank goodness I was able to save up money in Korea because otherwise…well, I don’t know what I’d be doing.

I mention that because job hunting felt particularly vital when so much of my savings was going towards doctor bills. I wanted a full-time job with benefits so I could have an affordable health insurance bill and actually have some money to do other things with. Like moving out, for instance. And getting a car. If you ever want to feel like a kid again, and not in a good way, just move back home without a car. It’s not at all nice, even though I’ll always be eternally grateful I had parents willing to take me back (and who I was willing to move in with).

Near March, I wrote out a list of adult life goals that I had once crossed but kind of crossed back over to the undone side when I came home. Having a job, living on my own, and having a car are the three major ones. And having a job is a kind of precursor to the others, so that was the biggest event on my horizon.

I did it all – applied to a bunch of places online, asked friends and applied to places they recommended, went into stores – the works. And finally, I got one. After nothing for two months, I had an interview and then a job offer the same day.

I start tomorrow. I’m not worried, because I know that after a month or so any job feels like regular life, no matter how steep the learning curve, so I’m just going to wait it out patiently.

In the meantime, I’m going to start thinking about all those things I didn’t when I started job searching. Writing, goal-setting, future-thinking; once I realized getting a job wasn’t going to be a walk in the park, everything else seemed to shrink, and the letters J-O-B loomed so high they were all I could see. Now that I’ve rounded the corner, and it’s like a funhouse where the letters are actually pretty tiny when you see them from behind, I can turn my attention back to the world at large.

It’s nice. A happy-seven-month-anniversary to me.

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Sessions 1-5: Game Master Series

It’s been about two months since I started running Curse of Strahd for my new group of D&D players.

I feel like I can officially call myself a DM. I can buy the badges and the coffee mugs and the t-shirts and not feel a massive sense of imposter syndrome.

Okay, so two months, right? How’d it go, Audra? Um…

AMAZING.

I really, really, really like DMing. And I figured out why I like it more than playing. I like being in control of the world. This is totally a personality thing because I don’t like feeling out of control ever, and it translates to my game preferences too. (More on the correlation of personality and play-style another time.) I’m more comfortable presenting the story, being in control of the flow and the events, and seeing where things lead. Of course, I’m not forcing my players into a particular path or style or anything, but I like knowing where things will go. It’s way less stressful, despite how stressful being a DM is (with all the planning and whatnot).

I can’t tell you how my players are doing, except the bits I’ve heard. They seem to be having a blast. They’ve told me they love it, they’re getting creeped out by all the creepy stuff, worried about future encounters, freaked out by dreams and details…I think it’s going well, in other words.

On my end, I’m beginning to see where I need to shore up my weaknesses and what things I can do pretty easily.

Things I’m Good At

And let me clarify – things I feel comfortable doing and are “easy.” My players may have a different opinion on how well I do.

  1. Description – I like this part. I like picturing the environment in my head and translating it via theater of the mind using all five senses. I can do this pretty easily, for the most part. I think my extensive reading history has served me well here.
  2. Music – to me, music is a huge, integral part of the game. It adds that extra panache, that zest, that cherry on the sundae of atmosphere. It sets the mood and can subtly stoke certain feelings in your players…and I have some good stuff picked out. My players have told me they’re noticing, too. At one point the music was too quiet to hear and they thought I’d stopped it and all got nervous that something was about to go down. Delicious.
  3. Thinking of information on the fly – I had a character ask me what the books were about in a house, and the CoS guide didn’t say, so I made up something about the ancient history and myths similar to our Greek mythology. Brief, but I came up with something. Yeah, if you’re reading this, guys, I pull a lot of stuff out of nowhere.
  4. Encounters – so far I feel pretty confident in my encounters. I made a cheat sheet of verbs to use for battle (hack, slash, eviscerate, bisect, crush, etc) because I’ve found in the heat of things my ability to describe attacks goes down. But other than that, I think I do a pretty decent job. And last session, we used crackers as wolves and I made the players cronch them when they took one down.

Things I’m Not Good At

Again, things that don’t come easily or feel comfortable.

  1. Pacing – I haven’t quite gotten how to pace things comfortably. I want to end on a cliffhanger or decent endpoint each session, but I’m terrible at estimating how long encounters are going to last, how many I need and so on. I was actually underprepared for the first time last session, as opposed to way overprepared for all the others, so my estimates still need work.
  2. Speaking as an NPC off the cuff – I’m a much better writer than speaker, and I can make characters have unique styles of talking when writing, but not so much when I’m talking. I’ve never been good at improv, so this is really stretching my skills. I don’t think I’ve done terribly, but I really have to focus when I speak as an NPC.
  3. Encounters – yeah, some parts of this I don’t get. I don’t know much about all the monsters (there’s SO many), and I know I’m not giving my players the full experience, but I honestly think the plot deserves my attention more than the background information of a creature.

I mean, I have more good things than not good things. I’d put myself in the winning camp. I love DMing. I love watching my players interact with the story and get excited and wonder what’s going to happen next. It’s more rewarding than writing in many ways because you get to see their reactions as they come, and they also shape the story. That’s one of the best parts. I have this framework that they’re working in, but they’re making it their own, and other players will make it theirs, and so the story is never quite the same. The adventure never ends.

I. Love. Dungeons and Dragons.

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How I’m Learning to Code

I first learned HTML way back when I was in middle or high school, I can’t remember. Mid-2000s, for sure. I’d even done some CSS – I have vague memories of a website I created where I shared…I don’t remember what, but it was purple – so diving back in hasn’t been too difficult.

Text Editor (it’s not your father’s editor…)

In fact, I’d say it was a breeze. New text editors like Brackets (see below) make coding HTML and CSS much, much simpler, due to color-coded text to make things easy to see and drop down menus to show options for each attribute. Like, why wasn’t this just always a thing?

Coding Example

The Course I’m Using

The course I decided to start out with is on Udemy– Build Responsive Real World Websites with HTML5 and CSS3. It’s a mouthful, but it had amazing reviews (as well as being on sale – Udemy has so many sales you can usually get any class you’re after for ten bucks at some point).

The course assumes you have zero experience coding, which was great for me. The instructor even went through how to download Brackets and set it up. The first few lessons went through the basics of HTML and CSS and introduced concepts of web design, from typography to layout to images and colors.

As you learn the code, you get to see it in real time thanks to Brackets’ “Live Preview.” You can see a picture of what you build first in the class below. Not pretty by any means, but it definitely has the look and feel of a standard blog, and you get to do all the coding yourself! It’s pretty awesome.

Coding Practice

The Killer Website Project

After learning the basics, the main bulk of the course has you build a website for a fake company called Omnifood. You can see the finished project first, and then work through the steps to build it from scratch, which is daunting at first, but it’s surprising how quickly the site takes shape.

I went from this…

Omnifoodtest1

…to this…

Omnifoodtest3

Omnifoodtest2Omnifoodtest4

…in just a few hours. It looks so slick, right?

I don’t by any means feel ready to tackle a paid project yet. I still forget what goes under a <div> element and all the attributes I need to consider, but it was a great starting point, and I feel like this course has really set me up for success in other classes.

Other Resources

Alongside the class, I’m also listening to two podcasts that have been really helpful. They’re more inspiring than practical at this point, but they do point me towards websites and other classes that I know I will use in the future.

Learn to Code with Me

CodeNewbie

I’m also trying to connect with other newbie coders and female coders in my area. Meetup has been the best so far. I recently went to a casual code and connect Meetup of the global group Women Who Code (WWC), and met some amazing people. I made some friends who are learning as well and also got to speak to some recruiters about what skills they’re actually looking for. It was a really positive experience, and I highly recommend anyone starting out to find a group as soon as you can.

Guys, I am just so excited about everything right now. The design aspects, the organization aspect, the editing and the actual coding bits…it’s all amazing! I can’t wait to see where this goes!

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Hello, I’m (becoming) a developer: Self-Discovery Series

I’ve started taking coding classes.

But I’m afraid. Is this just the next in a long line of potential career paths that will fizzle and die along with my invested time and money? Or will I keep the momentum I have for it now? Is it worth investing if I don’t know I’ll keep it up?

Honestly, I’m tired of these questions, because they’re the wrong ones.

In the first place, I’m a multipotentialite, so going after a million different interests is what comes naturally to me. I’d be doing myself a disservice to curtail my passion because of a lack of future certainty. (Which, hello, no one has.)

And in the second place, coding is an incredibly useful skill, so even if I only learn a little, I’m far better off than I was. It’s not like the time I got all into herbal medicine and spent money on a beginner’s class and got a certificate of completion which let me do…nothing. I mean, I had fun, but it wouldn’t be near as useful as basic programming skills in the job market.

But job relevance in only part of my interest. Today I put this picture up on my wall.

Image result for ada lovelace

This is Ada Lovelace, considered to be the world’s first computer programmer. She’s a WOMAN. And has amazing fashion. I was hecka inspired when I found out about her.

Yes, I’m hoping to get a really good job with these skills. I’d like to be a front-end developer because it seems to be as creative as it is technical. Or a full stack developer, which just makes me think of pancakes.

Either way, whether in the future I am a programmer or whether this fizzles out in a few months, I’m adding programming to my list of hobbies and interests.

In the language of Ruby:

puts ‘Hello World!’

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The Top Five Reasons I Loved Living in Korea

I lived in Korea for a little over two years. I moved back over the holidays, but I wrote this article when I was still living there, and it still applies.

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Here are my top five reasons why I loved living in Korea.

Safety

I didn’t grow up in a bad area, all things considered. The only danger I ever really faced was coyotes in the tree line behind my friend’s house. But I was chicken little as a kid, so I never went out walking after dark, even in my safe suburban neighborhood. I didn’t even like walking around in the daytime. And try to get me to stay out after nine, even with a car? Fat chance.

At the risk of scaring my mother out of her wits, I will reveal that I *gasp* often walk home after dark here in Korea. Sometimes quite far. And I’ve never felt unsafe. I’ve never had anyone talk to me or grab me or anything. I see other people walking all the time. Kids, women, dogs, cats… They all walk around until late in the evening (I’ve never been out past 11, so that’s my version of late). Of course there is crime. No country is crime free. And I don’t walk in unlit areas, so I’m still smart about it. But the point is that crime is far less prevalent here. It’s a statistical fact. (Facts people.)

Petty theft is also rare. People leave shoes outside their apartments, leave bikes unattended, leave products outside stores after hours…and they don’t get stolen, for the most part. I’m sure it happens occasionally, but nowhere near as often as back home. I don’t have to hide my cash when I withdraw from an ATM. It’s just safer. (But hey, be smart guys. Still be safe. Never let your guard down. And realize that some areas of Korea are safer than others.)

Cost of Living

On the scale from Numbeo, the major cases where Korea is MORE expensive than the US are in these categories: dairy, produce, coffee, imported clothing, and housing. Those come as no surprise to anyone who’s lived here a few months. I’ve taken to eating less dairy as a whole simply due to expense. And outlet stores are a joke.

The majority of the rest of life is a little cheaper, including important things like meals and transportation. I’m able to save a lot of money here owing to the fact that I don’t have a car and my apartment is so tiny I don’t spend much on utilities. The car thing is huge. Back home a lot of my money went to gas or upkeep every month, so not having that to deal with is a boon.

Even on a relatively small teacher’s salary, I live very comfortably with enough left after saving to travel and buy pretty much whatever I want.

Transportation

Having no car, aside from saving a lot of money, also means I get to walk everywhere. This might not be a benefit to some people, but I love it. I like the urban feel, the free exercise, the chance to slow down and avoid road rage…and Korea is well adapted to walking. I don’t know what the ratio is between walkers and drivers, but it seems like at least half the population uses shank’s ponies to get around.

I say well adapted; my friend has at least three times lamented “unregulated sidewalks!” when we’ve had to goosestep around people, but at least there are sidewalks everywhere. In my hometown, that’s not the case.

Buses and the subway are superb as well. Again, being from the suburbs, public transport wasn’t something I was familiar with before coming to Asia. I had the impression buses were stanky pits and you had to clutch all your belongings tight. And the subway was some mysterious force in New York that only the very brave ever, well, braved.

But the Korean metro is notable for its ease of use and convenience. With every sign in English and a comprehensive set of lines, you can get anywhere in Seoul with no trouble. If you don’t count elbows in your ribs during rush hour. No white gloves though. Looking at you, Japan.

Food

One of the big draws of Korea for me was the food. I love spicy, flavorful food, growing up on Indian and Mexican, so discovering Korean was an utter delight. It’s becoming more popular in the US, so you might have tried Korean BBQ, with pork belly or beef grilled and dipped in rich sauces. You may have slurped Korean style ramyun or naengmyeon, the strange and refreshing ice noodles. You may have even tried Ddeokbbeoki, the famous street snack of rolled rice cake covered in spicy red sauce. (I may be a little hungry.) Not only that, but western food here is also good. I don’t know what the reason is, whether it’s better quality food itself or better preparation, but even in the fast food chains that have reached Korea (Burger King, McDs, KFC), the food is better. No dry, uninspired burgers here. No limp noodle fries here.

Natural Medicine

I’m very interested in natural medicine and herbalism. I went to the chiropractor weekly at home, but outside of that, it was hard to find places where people accepted the legitimacy of alternative medicine. In America, I feel like it’s still seen as quaint and peculiar, not a fully acceptable solution. But in Asia it’s equally as cool to see an acupuncturist as a doctor, and no one is going to assume you have crystals and tarot cards at home to go along with it. Suction cups are another method of healing here, one that I have yet to try (it’s just way too scary). More and more people are getting into it, which is helping the exposure (Michael Phelps coming to workouts with giant bruises probably did a lot). But in general, the first step when you’re feeling sick is often diet related or a simple remedy than an immediate trip to the doctor for pills.

On a related note, when you do need to see a doctor, it’s super cheap. I’m not sure how the insurance system works or whether there are hidden costs for some people, but with my health insurance provided by my school, I could see a doctor and get medicine for under $10. Even when I got more intensive tests done, it was a fraction of what it would have cost back home. It made getting sick a little less scary and stressful, to be honest.

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Now that I’ve lived at home for half a year, these are the things I miss most about Korea. I miss walking everywhere, I miss taking the subway to the mall and spending the day there, shopping and sitting in various cafes, I miss the abundance of Korean food, the succulence of Korean fruit, the cheap medical care, the safety…there’s a lot I don’t miss as well, but it’s nice that I have those good memories. I may never go back to Korea, but it was an amazing journey there.

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