a poem: history

I am scared to be a wife
I saw a man talking to his wife at the airport
he was sitting very quietly, just watching, seemed quite peaceful,
and suddenly in a flurry of nerves his wife came to talk to him, to tell him something,
nagging and loud
and he barely looked at her or responded, nodding once or twice under the barrage of her voice
and I was sad
and I thought his whole life had led up to that moment
all his experiences colored how he responded to her,
however he saw her,
however he had loved her
or not loved her
and I blamed her
and then I blamed him
and then I blamed myself
for watching.

-a.e

5 thoughts on “a poem: history

  1. I don’t want to be that naggy wife
    but I would also like my children to have a nice father they can love if that means I have to play bad cop (that’s just in my genes naturally too)
    but I more often see husbands who are terrible, which makes me not want to get married…
    that’s why I’d prefer the good cop dad even if I have to be the bad cop one, which is always the horrible role, but I know I won’t be as bad as some bad fathers I’ve seen

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  2. People watching = entertaining, insightful and yeah, makes you wonder how you look to other people. Or not.

    I’m often aware of how I look to other people because of living in Asia. And because as you know, how much I’m asked about ‘where I come from’. But sometimes I worry that a very animated discussion with the BF looks like we’re fighting 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, I used to think about what people thought about me a lot, because so many people did look at me in Asia. I always acted in public with that in mind, and would envy people who seemed content to dance or be stupid; even while I judged them, then judged myself for being catty. Remember that video of the girl breaking it down at the bus stop? I loved that because she didn’t seem to care what anyone thought. I need a little of that in my life.

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